I can’t remember where I heard this, but it’s good. Setting boundaries for our kids, giving them clear warning about consequences and calmly enforcing those consequences is the work of parenting.
Remembering the rationale bit is bloody helpful, and ‘because I say so’ doesn’t cut it, no matter how at the end of your tether you are. The best rationale I’ve heard, that I try to practice, is ‘because it’s my job to get you ready to navigate the world on your own, and this is part of that.’
The recognition bit is arguably more important - recognising their feelings. They need to know it’s OK to feel angry, disappointed, frustrated when they want to do something that isn’t the best thing to do at the time, like watching TV even though it's their bed time.
If they don’t learn that these feelings are normal in response to some form of restriction (and let's be honest, us grown-ups also feel like that when we want to press play on another episode on a Tuesday when we know we should go to bed because work is busy tomorrow), then they will think they are bad for feeling them.
And if they feel like they’re the bad ones for feeling these emotions, then they won’t learn to trust themselves and what they feel. And that sounds like a major parenting fail right there, one I certainly don’t want to make.